why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
