last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
