I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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