Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
