I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
