My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i already hear my dad disowning me
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
