covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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