Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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