You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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