If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
