I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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