have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
