T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
