pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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