Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
