I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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