did you get engaged???
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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