Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
