Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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