i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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