i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Success! We fucked roommates!
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