Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
