how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
