Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I didn't notice because vodka
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
