Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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