oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
