at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize