apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
