Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
