you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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