Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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