I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
