I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize