Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
