WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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