jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i may or may not be watching the land before time
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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