i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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