how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
