Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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