I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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