Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
