Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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