Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
