I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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