don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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