So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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