look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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