I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
