I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
