Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
